this may shock some of you,
but i think i am completely happy becoming an ajooma.

for the first time in my life, i can say that i actually like the house that i live in. it's completely empty, well, until now since we got some furniture today. john just finished building our brand new dark wooden table, and i love it so much. i imagine hundreds of dinner parties and conversations w friends on that table and i can't can't can't wait. and while i am pretty infamous for being unorganized and messy, my kitchen is always clean. i love my kitchen.

john and i have just 1 month till our wedding, and while i still feel like i haven't done any wedding planning (this is a problem), i feel really at peace with everything. any fears and insecurities i used to have about getting married or leaving my single "free" life - it all has gone away. i am excited for this new step of my life, and i feel like it will stretch and grow me. well hopefully not in that way.

on other life updates, i am back on the search for a new job. i left my teaching job hoping to find something that's more directly related to art, and i am itching to make huge paintings to fill up my empty walls. maybe unemployment will lead me back to my starving artist life. hiya.

well that was a lot of writing.

oh yea. if i could pick to be anywhere else right now besides here at my house, i'd TOTALLY be out there in SEA with juanita. america is only good cuz of friends and family. i think watching anthony bourdain just triggers any desire i have to leave this country as soon as i can. hopefully someday soon in a few years.

1 month till the wedding.
this means working out my backfat.